Welcome to Chef Clary Ville home town of the world renowned crazy Chef Clary.
Join me while I cook up some crazy concoctions on life, love and all that's good with the world!
Don't forget to shoutout your opinions!
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Saturday, May 31, 2003
Saturday yes Saturday
Well here we are a whole week with no AI and no Simon to watch but I think we hace all survived....just! It's not like Simon has drifted away from our thoughts. Heaven frobid that when getting dressed to go to work on a morning you should not think about putting good underwear on...just in case he shows up. You never know these days. He's out there prowling the world now!
I actually did some housework ( cleaned house - sorry english moment) this week. Well what else was I going to do with my time. I can't stay on the computer ALL day long. Plus at work I am still getting bugged about Si. Now they want to know what I am going to do now that he isn't on TV any more. I've turned them all into Simon spies without them even knowing it. Anytime Si is doing anything and they found out they come a running to let me know!! It's great and they just think it's a joke Waahhhaaahhaa. They are wrapped around my little finger! I re-read Mondays blog and realised how depressing it sound. It sounds like I'm about ready to top myself or something stupid but I assure you I'm right as rain.
My first story has escaped the confines of ssh and is now in the hands of my manager Dean. She currently is reading it but Deanna also read it yesterday morning and started crying halfway through. Crazy enough! I've got a vague story starting in my head but it's not coming together yet so who knows maybe I'll get another one up soon. I'd better go I suppose I'm off to Canadian tire for some yard supplies then out to finish landscaping my yard. Did I mention that I'm exhausted? I don't know why!
Later days
Chef
1:33 p.m.
Monday, May 26, 2003
Open wide and say aahhhh!
So here I am suffering from exhaustion. Everything is too much and I've not slept this much since I was a teenager, Damn I'm old! I've been feeling exhausted for a week now and finally broke down and went to the doctors. They think it could be mono or anemia. How do I explain to people I'm suffering Simon withdrawal. It's interesting that I felt better on Friday after watching Si on Extra but felt worse over the weekend with no Simon sightings in the offing. Do I tell the doctor that my life has lost it's purpose and direction. What day is it anyway. Whats the piont in cleaning the house Simon might not still be on this side of the Atlantic. I just want to sleep because thats where Simon is. Right there in my dreams.........
6:48 p.m.
Friday, May 23, 2003
Aaaahhh Sweet friday!
Well it's friday and I'm finally feeling better. Could it be that the sight of Simon healed me of my disease? No but it's a nice thought. So I thought that we really didn't know Simon at all boy was I wrong. Well lets see the whole KISS thing. Oh My Gosh I spent Thursday in a daze like many of you. Luckily I know my job well enough to do it on auto pilot. I have discovered the ultimate in mutlitasking : Making five meals and holding a conversation with lobo whilst making sure the expo has the right meals whilst fantasizing about Simon! I have it down to a fine art now I can hold a perfectly good and normal conversation whilst having an amazing Simon fantasy. The only thing that gives me away is the grin on my face!
Our regional manager came down and I apparently freaked him out with the whole American idol thing and then the Simon comment the next day. Apparently I'm a bit obsessive! And thats a bad thing?!
Wednesdays show was amazing and I would have drooled more but for the fact that *beloved* was sitting next to me THE WHOLE DAMN TIME! Making inane comments I might add. So they showed Simon in his suit. Internal monologue THUD DROOL oh my goodness look at that suit I think I need a towel . External monologue " Oh look Simons wearing a suit. *beloveds* comment well yeah
They showed THE KISS Internal monologue OOooooooohhhhhhh mmmmmyyyyyy gggggoooooossssshhhhh I think I'm having an orgasm!!!!! External monologue They're not going to show them kiss, oh my goodness, well that was just for the fans * beloveds* comment well know whats going on between them Internal monologue i don't care I just saw his tonsils and they are as sexy as the rest of him I wanna play tonsil tennis too
Then Lobo phoned and I almost deafened her screaming YOU HAVE GOT TO TAPE IT TONIGHT. She did and now in my possession in THe Tape. The tape thatwas delivered into my eternally grateful hands at 1.45pm . the tape that i drooled on and licked yes I licked a VHS tape and everyone at work now knows I am crazy if they weren't sure before. My managers are quite convinced all I need is to be taken to a hotel and let loose with some guy and I will be fine. Not if it's not Simon I won't oooohhhh hunny.
Then last night I turn on the TV and decided to check out Extra. Who is co-hosting? SIMON bloody COWELL where the hell was the warning on that one? He there half drunk half hungover smoking up a bloody storm and all I can think of is where the hell is Jade. So I thought I didn't know him all that well. He is exactly as I pictured him while I was writing my fanfic. That was the Si from my story hungover and smoking right there on my TV. By the way he kindasmokes a bit girly! But I already knew that. His brother is on tonight and HFS you won another bet apparently it's something about Si singing in front of a mirror. His brother is hot too. Any way I'd better go andcheck on the state of affair
Chef Clary
7:48 p.m.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Oh Monday Monday
Yes it's Monday. Offically my day off from work. Unfortunatly today it's a holiday today in Canada so it's everyones day off. What do I like about my day off? I get the day TO MYSELF. No fighting in the stores just waiting behind old people trying to figure out which is pocket lint and which is real money. No-one is on the roads because they are all AT WORK! Not today nooooooo everyone is driving EVERYWHERE.
I spent the morning trolling the net looking for Simon info and reading about the controversy surrounding Our Si's latest comments and came to the conclusion that we really don't know Simon at all. We know what he wants us to know which really isn't all that much. We think he's a huge flirt and then he comes out with the cupid comment that he's terrified to go up to a women and ask her out. I thought I had him pegged but now I am not so sure. The only thing I am sure about is that Simon is human after all and damn Hot.
Better go AI is coming on
Chef Clary
6:02 p.m.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
E-Mail away!!!!
OKay so before we all have a mental breakdown over the fact that our Si is off back over the water here are some people to E-mail
www.bbcamerica.com go to their contact us and scroll down to programming they have a sheet to fill out with comments
www.thamestv.co.uk, these guys are owned by freemantle but do not have a way to contact them directly instead you can get to them through the pop idol site
popidol@thamestv.co.uk so guys start the E-mail blitz. I'm thinking about posting the pop idol e-mail on the AI boards because a lot of people have been mentioing they would like to see it over this side of the water.
Canadian idol is starting up here right away but it doesn't have SI on so whats the point in watching. Oh yeah and Thames TV is producing cupids too. That is weird that they are doing both shows but CBS picked up Cupids instead of FOX?!!?
Watch out for a bit of a media blitz in August for our Si gets WAXED! His waxwork is scheduled to open at Madame Tussards in London in August. If all else fails keep checking the bbc.co.uk site as they have the major happens going on in dear old blighty
Love you all
Chef
P.S. It's bloody hot here and my furnace just came on!?!
5:22 p.m.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
DROOL And SWOON!!
Well it's been quite the week already for drooling and swooning. First up I vaguely remember Saturday night and chatting with J. It was fun J! Sunday morning I actually re-read the post on the AI bolt boards and if anyone can make any sense out of them I'll give them a cookie. I was actually able to work on Sunday not sure how though because I could still hardly stand up but somehow I made it through the day.
On Monday I had to work too. Lobo phoned me at work to tell me Si was on Leno that night. I have the greatest friends. The big sceen showed up too so now Si is even bigger in my living room! Leno was so funny especially the whole Robbie williams thing. That was just priceless! Si was in such a flirty mood and he had the glint in his eye. LOVE IT! Si hunny you need to let go and let loose babes. He so looked like he wanted to get up and join in the fun but was afraid to embarass himself.
Tuesday I worked again. Yes its going to be a long week but thank you SI for making it more bearable! My satelite went down too but Lobo was taping Oprah for me and even invited me over to watch the show. Lobo comment as Si can out and sat down was. OMG the man's packing! Yes we were checking out our Si's crotch! And I have to agree with her. Whats with the hand holding denial? A very good show with lots of drool on my end
AI wasn't too bad but *beloved* was setting up the sound for the big screen so I lost sound and picture alternatly. Oh well more Si tonight.
Better go get dressed. Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go.
Love ya
Chef
6:36 a.m.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Day off aka Day to daydream
Well today is my day off so i spent the entire day on the net. *beloved* Bought a big screen TV today so Si will be even bigger in my living room now!! I'm excited about Tuesday and seeing our Si on Oprah. i finally got to see the Oprah after the show clip on the net. I can't believe it. i know i've said it before biut *beloved* and Simon have so much in common. They are both incredibly picky eaters and neither of them like food over the top just simple food. Do you klnow how hard it is to cook for someone like that? It's horrific. I'm goign to wind up increasing incoherent here because I am getting drunk so bear with me and suck it up damn it. If our Si can be sitting on a beach getting drunk then I'm alright here an my computer getting very drunk. It leads to good drweamns anyways. Know what the wines from calafornina its as close to Si as I'm ever getting right.
I read Hfs recap and whip thing oh my gosh. Hey I have a whip here somewhere. Oh right it's on my keychain! Si I can lend it to you but it comes at a price. So do I! Bad chef stop writing naughty stuff! Oh I'm drunk and loving it. Lisa phoned me today and we are one step closer to planning our trip to London. I can't wait it's going to be so much fun!
Oh and J why do you keep calling me kid? I'm almost the same age as you I know I don't sound it sometimes but thats because I'm crazy! Anyway I'd better header before I start wrting stuff I shouldn't plus I can hardly see the keys anymore.
See you tomoorrow oh and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all you mommy's (mum's) out there
Chef Clary
10:03 p.m.
Thursday, May 08, 2003
Flirting 101 and it's ALL Simons fault
Okay now it's okay to flirt with guys and we all need a bit of fun and sparkle in our lives but some times you can just go too far. Like when the delivery driver delivers your food order. Seeing as how you have to write the date on the boxes and put then on the shelf the natural place to hold the pen is of course in your mouth. Well Delivery Driver (DD) didn't like it and told me to stop sucking on my pen. Me of course having spent the whole night dreaming of Simon and thinking about him all morning say " Well I need to suck on something and right now thats all thats available!" That was the start of it all and it got ruder and cruder as we went along. DD was in the store for about an hour for a small order it was way too long but it was fun. However this morning I do feel a bit bad about it. I just have to remember it's all practise for when I see Simon. Did I mention DD is the same age as our SI! I'm actually surprised no-one threw a bucket of cold water over us!
Last nights AI was a bit blah. Well except for the group song I so called that they would do staying alive. Okay so it was part of a medley it still counts. Everyone knew that Josh was going this week but if Josh should have gone last week and this week K-Lo should have gone when would hooker-girl have gone. We have a new girl at work who is really into AI and reminds me of ponyboy everytime I see her. It's kind of a shame but she is a really nice girl . Also one of the guys at work does an amazing Simon impersonation. I've had to tell him to stop because I might wind up jumping him! I didn't think Si's vioce did that for me but yeah yeah it does!!!!
Oh and before I forget Si you're 10 quid richer as of yesterday afternoon. I broke down and bought Kelly's CD. I actually only like 3 songs but the rest may grow on me. One I absolutly hate and I haven't actually listened to the CD all the way through yet either I keep jumping it around.
Well better get going I need some supper in my belly
Behave yourselves but if you can't behave be good!!!
Take 'er easy
CHEF
7:03 p.m.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Shows Over and some caramel,whipped cream and Chocolate
Well shows over and what do we do we all rush to our computera and go online. As I am not able to Vote I am busy blogging but anyone thats visits that is able to vote Vote for Clay! CLAY CLAY ALL THE WAY!! The only thing that would have made clay shaking his booty better would have been Simon next to Clay shaking His booty!! No-one scratched tonight like they had been asked to on the boards and Simon must have missed all the hype on the boards about that because of Ryans comment. What about Simons comment to Paula! Paula honey we need to chat and I'll give you some comments for Simon that'll make him blush!!
Today's topic of conversation was of course American Idol and of course me talking about Simon endlessly. This afternoon whilst refilling the caramel my manager said
"mm caramel chocolate and whip cream. You wouldn't see me for a week!"
I looked over and said "I could share some caramel, melted choclate and whip cream"
" Would that be with Simon?"
"Of course I'd show him a few uses for it!!"
So Si stop by anytime and I'll show you a few tricks that you will NEVER forget!!
Love you all
Chef
7:20 p.m.
My Resume!!
Okay at high school I did 2 weeks work experience at a Macdonalds. I put catering on the form they gave us and I got Macdaonalds!!!
In College I did a month at a hotel in the north of England waiting tables and serving banquets. My second year I came to Canada for a month to visit my boyfriend and for work experience ( I didn't have a visa-don't tell the authorities!) at a local hotel and restaurant
- Decided I wasn't going to university worked at Wentbridge House Hotel again, and worked the Farnborough International air show for a catering company. This was the most fun. I was in the SAAB chalet and we were serving a smorg featuring freeze dried reindeer!!
-Moved to Canada and when my papers came through worked at Tim Hortons night shift serving and being a glorified cleaner
- Got a job with Moxies as a prep cook and was part of the opening team here in town. Fixed most of their recipes that didn't work ran dayside and didn't get paid extra for it.
- Quit and went back to Tim Hortons found out I was pregnant and spent 3 months throwing up due to the grease smell
- Went back to Tim Hortons after maternity leave started out front then ended up as cake decorator when the chic quit.
- Got fed up enough decorating cakes and went to Montanas Cookhouse Saloon were I have been for the last 4 years and I am a kitchen supervisor and I do everything. I love my job and I love the staff some of whom have featured in my stories!!
- Ideal job : Slave to Simon Cowell. I'm well qualified.
Able to get up at 5.30am and keep going until 11pm or longer if necessary. Will cook to your specifications and fix food after it's made if it is not to your liking. Can clean house top to bottom redecorate if necessary, do Laundry will put up with complaints, critisism and put downs without complaint or feed back. Can drive and run errands. Will go to the store whenever needed even if I have just been. Also well able to keep satisfied!
Have a great day guys and thanks for adding me in
Chef
7:22 a.m.
Monday, May 05, 2003
Just Visiting but WTF
I've just been visiting the bolt message boards. There is a whole thread over there about people sctratching their elbows and noses so that fans know they are reading the boards. This progressed to Simon and Paula scratching themselves especially Simon and now they're worried that what if they are scratching because they are itchy!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness people really. Hey scratch once if you like me but scratch twice if your hungry. It could be like morse code or something like cool ! Maybe I should go post overthere. Oh and just in case anyone over here doesn't know a buttercup is a flower. You hold it under someones chin to see if they like butter. I guess it's an english thing.Over on bolt its a butter cup as in food?!? WTF And apparently it's wrong to sing about food or flowers??
Food glorious food hot chocolate and custard while we're in the mood cold cabbage and mustard, pease pudding and lemonade rice pudding and chocolate.
I can't remember the proper words to this so I'll stop now plus I sing really badly.
Chef
8:05 p.m.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yes merry Christmas everyone I think I heard Santa sometime in the night but he must not have been prepared for this either becaused I have no presents. Well here in Chefclary Ville the radio is playing spring/summer commercials about golfing and watching for motorcycles on the roads. Yeah theres not even gonna be a CAR on the roads today buddy!!! SNOW DAY in MAY????????? We currently have 3 feet (Approx 1 metre) of snow out there and it STILL snowing. Well now I can add that extension onto my igloo! LOL Maybe even a second level.
Anyone else got wonky weather going on? Jas is suffering down there in Kansas with the tornados and up here in the frozen North we've got severe snowfall warnings in effect but you can look out the window and figure that for yourself. *Beloved* isn't working today because he can't go out in this ( he teaches drivers Ed). Maybe I can get him to take the child to school in his 4x4. My baby is covered in snow but yesterday I discovered that to get the snow off the top off my car I just need to drive and it will all fall to the back window. If I accelerate real fast it all falls off! Yeah no standing outside trying to brush it all off!!
Well I'd better head'er
Take care and look after yourself
Chef
7:04 a.m.
Saturday, May 03, 2003
REal Life gets in the way
Well this week real life has got in the way of fantasy life. Chefclary Ville has been deserted all week as the inhabitants have been busy doing 'other things'. Oh the horror the shock!
The wether here is not that great it's been raining quite a bit and yesterday we had hail. Not good. My baby didn't get any damage to it though. This weeks been pretty boring at work. people come in we cook them food the go home yadda yadda yadda blah blah bla.
The only highlights were the Wednesday discussion of A.I. We were all in agreement that Josh didn't do too good but that hookergirl ( aka the dragqueen) Should definetly go this week. Josh can hang on til next week. The whole Clay thing oh baby he's second in line right behind Simon!
The whole wednesday edition THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD.
Thursday sees me and Lobo running around pretend to be goats! Yes goats and singing build me up buttercup into the tongs, scoops spatulas etc... The KM got pissed off we were having fun and sent her home. Oh wait maybe it was becasue it was slower than molasses form the deep freeze!
Well thats about it
Chef
9:51 a.m.
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