Welcome to Chef Clary Ville home town of the world renowned crazy Chef Clary.
Join me while I cook up some crazy concoctions on life, love and all that's good with the world!
Don't forget to shoutout your opinions!
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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
NEWSFLASH!!
Simon is going to be on Simpsons as maggies nursery school administrater
Read it here at bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/
I'll post this on Juliet site too
Chef
5:58 p.m.
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
The Joy of Power door locks!
No it's not a new book. It's the discovery of the fatal flaw in my new car. My new car is my baby. I LOVE my new car. I've just decided that I don't love the power door locks that came with said car.
It all started easily enough a quick visit to a relatives house just out of town. Run into the house quick say hi, get some money for some scholl fund-raiser and leave. Sounds simple right?! Nope not in my world. The Child beat me outside while I was saying goodbye. The child got into the new car which was still running keys in the ignition. You all know whats coming next right? Child hits power door lock button opens her door gets out and being the well-trained child that she is locks her door on her way out. Exit me from the house to find the child standing next to the new car with angelic grin on her face. She says proudly " Mommy I locked the doors for you" AAAAHHHHHHHHH. Yes I have a spare sets of keys. They are hanging on the other set IN THE CAR. The extra extra set are at home. Relative can't drives us because their car is in the garage that I parked behind and I can't move my car!
So I decide okay it's time to call roadside assisstance... Oh wait the number is IN THE CAR. Oh yeah and the sales guy told me to put one in my purse. Guess where my purse is.... IN THE CAR. Okay well I call the dealership and hope they can bail me out here. The guy shows up 30 mins later to tell me that he can't cut an extra key for my car how about we go to my house to pick up the extra set. Slight problem there... My house key is on the keychain IN THE CAR.....my spare key is IN MY PURSE IN THE CAR.
I decided to try to break into my house to get the extra key. After taking the screens off both the front and back door I admit defeat and get back in the guys car so we can go to the dealership and call the companies roadside assisstance. This is around the time I notice my hands are covered in blood. Yeah I've slashed my 2 index fingers to ribbons. Good luck to any burgulars. If they manage to get in I'll give them a prize!!
Anyway to cut a long story short finally the key guy comes out and after 3 attempts finally gets me into my car. Now extra key will stay with me at all times NO MATTER WHAT!!
Oh yeah and if you have cuts on your fingers don't cut onions!!!
My fingers are pretty sore now and I still have 3 more shifts to do at work this week. Not fun....no...not at all!
Oh well take 'er easy everyone and I'll try to stop injuring myself!!!
Chef
7:37 p.m.
Saturday, April 26, 2003
MY APOLOGIES TO ONE AND ALL
Okay I'm done sucking up now! Yesterday I wound up doing a 12 hour day at work. Yes 12 hours of cooking people food. I'm surprised I'm not anorexic yet especially after yesterday. By the time I left work yesterday I was so sick of the sight of food I would have willing not eaten again. Well that was until I picked up the Child from the sitter and then realised to my horror that I hadn't eaten ALL DAMN DAY. Yes I Chef Clary spent an entire day cooking other people food and somehow failed to feed myself! So I ordered a pizza on the way home. OKay I ordered a medium pizza.... with breadsticks...add cheese...plus pizza sauce! This morning I have 2 pieces of pizza and 2 breadsticks left. HHMMM something tells me I was hungry!
Anyway I was going to blog last night and Managed to read a couple of blogs but then fell asleep for an hour, got up put the child to bed(she fell asleep in front of the TV- I'm such a good mom!) and then plopped myself in bed. You'd think being that tired I would sleep for a long long long long time. NO not me. I got up a 2 for a drink. Got up at 3 for a drink noticed that Hubby had come home (he DJ's on the weekend) switched my alarm off at 5 ( don't ask) and then woke up at 7. We're talking wide awake. Nothing is getting me back to sleep kind of awake. So here I am blogging to myself and listening to the wind help the trees around my house rip the shingles off the roof.
I've already been talking to my sister-in-law in Calgary where it is also blowing up a storm and it is snowing! HEAVILY!!!! Hopefully it's not heading this way. I'll take rain but snow nope all done with that for at least 6 months! I also talked to my future-sister-in-law in Yorkshire England and it is a beautiful day !!! The whole house is still asleep and it's 9.30. I thinking I should turn the dishwasher on and wake them up! The washer doesn't seem to be having any effect and I'm on my second load.
Ahh well i'll just enjoy the peace and quiet for a while it certainly won't last long!
Take 'er easy today
CHEF
9:29 a.m.
Thursday, April 24, 2003
WTF!! It's the crazy week roller coaster ride!
So this week we've done Friday Saturday sales on a Tuesday and Wednesday we've started running out of food therea a hockey tournament in town this weekend and it's only Thursday. Add in the fact I'm been sick every morning for a week my daughter decided last night to join in the puking and I'm so tired I don't know which way is up!!!
OKay on the plus side now that I am done stressing. The thingy from the store said no I'm not Thanks for joining all my co-workers who are ecstatic that I might have been. It's almost Saturday so I can sleep in for one day. I got to fill up my new car for the first time today!!!!
I'm driving to work this morning when a little gas pump shows up on my odometer screen. Cool it needs to be filled I'll fill up after work. Well this thing doesn't just stay on it bloody well FLASHES at you. Try driving 80mph on the highway in rush hour with this bloody thing flashing at you. Never mind road rage by the time I got to work I was yelling at the flashy thing in my car. Well congratulations Toyota I'm never ever going to run out of gas because that thing is so iritating I will fill up at the first opppurtunity!!
It's raining here today, but were not talking normal over the whole city type rain. Nope it rained over the hospital this afternoon and over my house this evening. They are 5 minutes away from each other!!! In between it was bright and sunny! WTF?
This morning at work trying hard to make enough food to feed the hungry masses me and lobo were bleating cheers that crapmen has gone. *beloved* stated last night that Crapmen would be one of the last to go. Ha your wrong! He was shocked!! oh well
Better get going time for tea!!
Chef
8:20 p.m.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Crapmens going ho-ome maa maa
Well tonight I'm singing the song crapmens going ho-ome maaa maaa crapmens going ho-ome maaa maaa . Not being the one to gloat Ha told you so. I was a bit shocked that Josh was in the bottom two. I thought for sure that it would be Crapmen and hookergirl. Simon could have looked at least a bit interested tonight it looked like he was planning what he was going to have for supper. I am so sure I saw him lean over to paula and the end and ask Are you alright? I'm not a shipper but it did look like he cared. Although the whole swaying thing while crapmen was singing. Si looked like he was doing it under duress and wondering how much longer til he could run out that door for a smoke. I was eating sauages tonight while I was watching and I must say they went down a treat. They weren't English sausages though. Lobo if you do read this please don't repeat it at work!!!! I wonder what Si's doing for the weekend maybe he can join us at Jas's house for beer and Cheetos. Then we won't have to bring out the DVD's we can watch Simon porn in the flesh!!!! It's sunny out my hormones must be out of whack. Better head out for the garden hose it's the coldest water I can find Down girl!!
Luv you guys
Chef
8:05 p.m.
Simon in Playgirl?!
So today me and Lobo are discussing last nights AI ( she only watches for me) and we're discussing Simon as usual. I mention that I gotta find the In touch magazine and she says what are you going to do when Simon does playgirl!!!!!!! What a thought! I would have to laminate my copy the pages would get too wet from me drooling over it ( amongst other things) I'm thinking we need a campaign to get Si to do Playgirl especially if he is going back to England he can at least leave us with a treat! Almost Si-time. Hopefully I can control myself tonight or the neighbours are going to wonder whats going on with me and the garden hose!!
Catch you on the flip side
Chef
6:23 p.m.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
MMMMmmm mmm good and Oh YUCK
Well I tuned in late so I will have to watch it again later to catch Clay singing.I was enjoying Si have a giggle until ponyboy showed up then it was yucky for a bit. Who is Arthur??? Maybe the rumours about Ryan are true?! Si and Diane are good friends but the nibbling at the end oh my gosh cold shower here I come. Damn it wheres my hubby when I need him.
Not such a good day at work today but thankfully I have Si to make it all worthwhile tonight. I think I need to download some of clay's songs they give me goosebumps and make me think of Si. He was definetly wearing his smile tonight but he can show up at my house anytime wearing only his smile. Damn cold water not cold enough. I love it when Si laughs like that wow wow wow okay I'm off out back to hose myself down see you all later!
* stomps off to find the garden hose*
Chef
7:10 p.m.
Monday, April 21, 2003
Well that wasn't soo bad. We got the push ups AND the wink and I'm sitting here eating the first steak of the season grilled to perfection by me. I think they need me in the house I'll cook for them and maybe Si will drop in for some supper! I timed it perfect tonight I got the TV working just in time to totally miss Crapmen. Oh did I spell that wrong Baaaaabaaaaad me! LOL
I think they turned her mic off at the end again though!
Would have been a better show with Si though. Clay did my favorite song again and I got goosebumps shame Si didn't like that song first time round it's my most favorite song in the entire world.
Better finish my steak it's hot and juicy just like Si!
Chef
7:12 p.m.
Ah ha said the blind man Clear as mud I think I figured it out
5:06 p.m.
I tried adding the links to this thing but it doesn't appear to like me and I don't know what I have done. If it goes all wonky let me know. It is a beautiful day out here on the praires. 25'C and it's only April! It's going to be a long hot summer!!! Less clothes for me to wear! Oh that sounded bad LOL No I will not be walking around naked all summer so don't even shout out at me about that! Stupid TV is not working yet and my brother-in-law isn't answering his Telephone. *Beloved* is at work as usual so I guess it up to me.....unless Si shows up to fix it for me! I'll fix something for HIM!!! Wow whats wrong with me today Ithink I've got spring fever or something. Oh well better go do somethink else.
Chef
5:05 p.m.
A trip to the Store and road rage!
Well I've just been to Wal-Mart and it's a nightmare in there. I hate when the kids are off school. We went to change some shoes( the easter bunny dropped off the wrong size at nana's house) and of course to see if THE MAGAZINE was out. I checked the magazine isle with no luck and went to pay and lo and behold there at the checkstand was THE MAGAZINE!!!! I almost peed my pants stopped breathing and screamed WOOOOHOOOOO and the top of my lungs! I also picked up a copy of the star because it had a blurb on AI ( no Si unfortunatly) The chick gave me a funny look when she scanned them. I gave her my most blank look possible, although that is pretty hard when your insides are dancing up and down with joy and you're ready to break out in song like some bad Disney movie!
So of course I am very happy and anxious to get home driving in my new car ( just for Si) when some dumb old person pulls in front of me. Now don't get me wrong old people are fine WHEN THEY DRIVE FASTER THAN THEY WALK!! Would you like a walker for your car? Yes I had an episode of road rage that lasted til I got home because there is now construction at a MAJOR intersection in town. I think my daughter my have learned an interesting way to display your anger seeing as I was trying not to swear or say any 'bad' words at the same time!
Okay I'm done venting thanks for listening
Chef!
1:02 p.m.
I was shouting out on Katies blog which I promise everyone I will add in the links as soon as I figure out what Jas e-mailed me. I had a thought ( and I got a visual) If someone was watching us trying to find this stupid magazine wouldn't we resemble those lab rats that run around in the mazes trying to find stuff. I swear that I looked like a crazed woman last week as I ran (yes ran) into and out of each store trying in vain to find it.
I think someones having a laugh at our expesnse!
P.S If someone in Canada finds it let me know where. I don't have a chapters here but I can drive 3 hours one way if I have to!
8:56 a.m.
I have just been informed ( by my Child) that today is Bubblegum day! Go blow some bubbles (I'd rather be blowing someone else) Bad chef *slaps hand*
Keep it clean!! LOL
8:37 a.m.
Well sorry I didn't make it to the computer yesterday. Unfortunatly someones gotta cook food for all the lazy asses that can't be bothered to get up and stuff their own turkey.
However yesterday was quite the eventful day. 6am saw me stubbling out of bed getting dressed and wandering round the garden hiding Easter treats for the Child. 630am I was outside with video camera no.. not video said Child....videoing ( is that a word?) where I had hidden treat and muttering to video camera heres one okay theres one here and the last one is here.
Thank goodness no-one else in their right mind was up at that time of the morning. Why was I doing this so that I could be at work at 7am yes 7am on a sunday!! and my beloved could see where I had hidden everything to direct the child.
In his infinite wisdom beloved decided not to tape over me hiding the treats!
Well work was not quite so bad yesterday. It's all so much better when you're cooking for Simon! Oh and my comment to Lobo ( yes she's in my new story-she begged me to make amends for the last one). The conversation went as follows: ( we were discussing *beloveds* simon-like comment and the fact that we were in London when we met)
Well at least you knew back then you wanted Simon You just picked the wrong guy
Yeah I jumped on the wrong tube train!!
Not too bad of a comment really considering the London subway is called the tube but when you READ what I said you'll understand why we were on the floor! Sunday seems to be the only day of the week when every comment takes on a sexual meaning and I mean every comment. Maybe it's because Sunday is supposed to be a sacred day who knows.
Anyway I got to finally eat my Easter Dinner at 5pm last night and it was Damn good. Even better thatI didn't have to cook it!!
LOL Hope everyone had a good day yesterday
Chef
8:33 a.m.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Wow I'm so excited I did it i bloody did it WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Thanks Jas for your help and input now I can quit takingup so much space on other peoples blogs spouting out my rubbish I have my own world to do it in!
8:38 p.m.
Okay we are experiencing technical difficulties it would seems okay then...
8:33 p.m.
Well hopefully I am up and running and here is my lovely blog. In case you don't know me I am a crazy british chic in disguise as a crazy canadian chef. I should theorectically be able to cook but according to my beloved simon-like comment spouting spouse I can't. According to the rest of the world however I'm one of the greastest. AAHH Ego's gotta love them!
Well Happy Easter to all who wander this way and stick around for some Turkey, mashed Tatties and Yorkshire puds. Oh and for dessert there is brownies cake and trifle!
Luv ya all
Chef Clary
8:23 p.m.
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